Fractured faith

I had a CAT scan this morning and they called back only thirty minutes after to tell me to get the weight off my hip. I had a hip fracture. Actually it was a stress fracture in the femoral neck of my hip in the more rare tension side on the superior side which requires immediate surgery… tomorrow probably?

It explains the three weeks of excruciating pain but Jesus. How did this happen? I messaged people and called my mom and asked the dudes at the September trail half marathon for a refund and texted my daycare friend and grad school friend visiting tomorrow and my husband who has been out of commission for his substance abuse. And I emailed my professors. My whole life is altered for a couple months and it’s not the summer of trail runs and hikes I imagined. And my updates will be about the healing process for now.

I’m feeling lots of negative emotions lately especially after receiving this news because I feel like my body keeps letting me down. First it was preeclampsia and two months of hospitalization while pregnant with my daughter and now this- probably the repercussion- as I tried to get lean and strong again after illness and a c-section. It was running and also the baby backpack for long hikes on uneven terrain. It happened during a five mile run but it was probably developing for weeks or months. And now I live and learn more… so I can get back out there.

Don’t get me wrong. I still plan to do San Francisco next year. I’m a warrior- on crutches and a little lame (Claudia actually means lame in Latin and that’s hilarious right now) but a warrior nonetheless.

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